EARLY ON
I have debated on what my first post would be about. I have so many things I want to write about, but this one seems like the most important. When I first became a Mom 2 years ago, I was completely overwhelmed. I like predictability and routine. I like to have detailed instructions and know what’s expected of me. When I became a mom, there was no manual, no handbook. At my previous job, part of what I did for a season, was to create manuals and help create systems. I loved every second of it because I was helping to create order and clearly defined goals and instructions. So, I’ve decided to write things down and document things that have helped me in my journey of pregnancy and motherhood. I hope and pray that it will help you too.
One of the most important things I’ve learned is that being a mom is a privilege and a gift from God. In Psalm 127:3 it says, “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward.” We need to treat our kids that way.
Being a Mom, you have two options: 1. completely rely on your own strength and be a stressed out, overwhelmed mess (which has been me more days than I care to admit), or 2. partner with God and receive His grace each and everyday. When I choose the latter option, my life is more peaceful and I actually enjoy the days. Don’t get me wrong, everyday is not sunshine and coffee lol. I do love those days though! But, you can find purpose and fulfillment in each day as Mom, instead of dread and stress.
WHAT I’VE LEARNED
Why is this so hard sometimes though to live each day with purpose and passion and to enjoy the days? I have a few reasons why I think it can feel challenging and a few things that have helped me.
- We place unrealistic expectations on ourselves—Do you feel like certain things “HAVE” to be done? Or, maybe you’re like me and add a million things to your to-do list that can’t actually get done because you have kids clinging to your legs all day or because you work all day and just want to spend time with your babies and husband at night. We are the ones that put the pressure on ourselves most of the time. Kids don’t need that much to be happy. They just want our attention and basic needs met. And I think most husbands would rather us be in a good mood than have a 6 course meal on the table. And our house doesn’t need to be spotless all the time. Do I think we should do the best we can do each day and take care of things the best we can? Absolutely. But sometimes we aren’t flowing in the grace God gave us for the day and instead, we are running ourselves into the ground. Try putting the most important things on your to-do list and getting those done first. Then, if you have time for the other little things, great. If not, no worries.
2. We don’t have systems in place-This one has been pretty eye-opening to me lately. Systems help make a home run smoothly. Maybe that’s meal prepping on Sundays or having a 20 minute family meeting on Monday nights to get on the same page for the week. I’m still working on this one. You don’t want to have systems just that will stress you out, you want systems to actually work for and with you. So if something isn’t working, change it to make it work for you!
3. Our space doesn’t feel good-Do you feel like your house is always messy and spend ALL DAY LONG picking up? I sure do. Before I had a baby, my house was always super clean. Now, not so much. I’ve been listening to some podcasts where they talk about if you’re house always feels messy, it’s because you have too much stuff! So one thing that I have been doing to change that is by getting rid of 10-15 items each day. That sounds like a lot, but it could literally be as small as a paperclip. You are constantly bringing items into your house, so it makes sense to get rid of things too. If not, you’ll end up with way too much stuff that you don’t need or use.
4. We don’t take care of ourselves- Taking care of yourself as a Mom is SO important. If you don’t take care of yourself and feel well, you’ll have a harder time enjoying taking care of your kids and you will live like a grouchy mess. I figured out that the most important things for me to feel good are: 1. reading the Bible each morning before Luke wakes up (even if its only 5 minutes), 2. plenty of SLEEP, 3. eating well, 4. exercising, 5. date nights with my husband (even if they are just at home), 6. spending time with uplifting friends (key word-uplifting).
5. We are in comparison- It’s important to take time to pray and make sure you are walking out everything God has for you in the season that you are in. Every season will look different, but if you know you are doing what you are called to do during a certain season, you can enjoy it and do it with the best of your ability and feel no need to do anything more than you are supposed to do. You don’t need to compare yourself to any other Mom if you know you are doing exactly what God has called you to do.
I’m excited for this new endeavor and I hope that we can inspire and encourage one another in the privilege of motherhood!
-Nicole
